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/qa/ - Question & Answer

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After a fitful night of dreams, an impetuous piercing cry emanates from your bedside, wrenching you from your slumber and throwing you, uncaring, into the real. You make out your surroundings. This is your bedroom. You lay under your covers, surrounded by posters of your favourite pop star. Everything appears to be as it was the night before, except for your stomach, which is now empty and nauseated.

It's morning.

Your PDA delivers you a motivational quote.
>"Be the change you wish to see in the world."
>>Some bumper-sticker and not Gandhi

What do you do?
view User Posts (UNRATED)
Rub some lotion on my hands. They're freaking dry.
You have no lotion in your room. The closest lotion is in the hall bathroom. Are you really ready to leave your bedroom yet?

While you mull this over, you kick off the covers.
Get naked
>>425567 (OP)
Quest threads belong on /tg/.

Well, they don't belong there, but that's where you're supposed to post them. Nowhere else.
This is a blue board, Anon.

That's an opinion that you have. Thank you for sharing your opinion.
Oh hey, you're that one poster with the really cute art style. I like this.
>That's an opinion that you have

That's the rules cuckboi. If you don't like it take it up with the mods
You looked smarter back when people thought that you had an opinion. Now you're just a person who is mistaken about rules that don't really exist. /qa/ has no written rules aside from global rules, (with a lax enforcement of GR8 apparently) and /tg/ has no such rule stating that quest threads belong there and only there. Sorry.
Wear bike shorts and sports bra
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You don't own a sports bra, but you do have your training bra. You don't know how you feel about this thing but you have to wear it because one of these days you're gonna have real boobs and if you don't get used to a bra by then, you're gonna be in trouble.

You always wear spats under your skirt. This is a no brainer.
The obvious next step is to get something to eat to counteract the HP degeneration. I'm assuming that's the cause. Eat something super tasty. Eggs. Or take a shower, showers can be good for the hitpoints. Sexy showers.
Better: Eat eggs while taking a shower.
tbqh, Risk needs a fucking board also. Might as well make /fg/.
Check the bed drawer.
Shower with eggs.
Wash eggs.
wosh u egg
(Forgot my trip and then accidentally fell asleep. Sorry. Back.)

You do really need to start your morning routine. Probably shouldn't have started to get dressed already, but it is what it is. You add "Shower" and "Eat an Egg" to your quest log.

This is where you keep your folded and ready school uniform that you arranged the night before. Evening you is very agreeable and willing to do nice things for morning you, but they can only plan ahead so far.

Normally you'd get dressed right now, but perhaps it would be better if we just carried our clothes around with us until we showered?
I'd vote to skip school today and do cool stuff, but she really needs the INT points. Get sexy thong underpants and the uniform and take them into the shower and S L O W L Y undress

I cannot stress that last part enough
Y-you own a p-pair of thong underwear, yes, but... But you... ahem.

While you certainly wouldn't be embarrassed to wear it or anything, it would be against school rules to do this and... And nobody would even see them anyway under the shorts that school regulations make you wear so there'd... There'd really be no point in wearing these!

Nevertheless, you will carry them with you just in case you change your mind later, or they come in handy somehow.
Floss teeth with thong. Gotta keep good oral hygiene.
As you leave your room to head to the bathroom to take your shower, you encounter your half-step-sister-in-law, Mika. Mika's weird. You'd rather not deal with her if you don't have to.

Shit, she's talking to you.

>"What're you doing in your underwear, Heather?"


Sure. Whatever. Later.
Cast detect trap
Cast detect undead
Cast aqual spate at stepsister and make her shirt wet
>not casting ray of frost on her nips

Shaking my motherfucking head
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We have neither of those two spells, but we do have our PDA so we've added Mika to the people file using current Encyclonet data.
Roll a diplomacy check. I want her katana.
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Finally, characters with reasonable ages.
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Sadly, you have neither of these spells. You could make her shirt wet if you were carrying some liquid, but you aren't carrying any right now. We are on our way to the bathroom though. Hold that thought.

This, on the other hand, you can do! You make your best effort at trying to convince her to give you her Ikaruga BlackWhite Blade.

Mika seems to be amused by something.
Give her the finger and cry a little
make her shirt wet with ur mouth ;)
Give her a hug. She'll never see it coming.
Play it off like a gag and surprise hug her and kiss her a little bit too
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You successfully flip Mika off so hard she flips off.
I like you're pictures :^)
fantastic thread

proceed to the shower
Seconding this.
Thirding this, with the addition of caling sorry.
Entice sister to shower with you.
>Questfags raiding every board now

You shitniggers belong in bodybags
This shit is fun and you can go fuck yourself. It'll be like a mini-quest.
Quests are definitely not fun. They are cancer, and now they're spreading their cancer to other boards.
I had a lot of fun myself my guy.
I mean
calm down my bud
i love you OP. keep doing what you're doing
You make your way to the bathroom at the end of the hall. You would have asked Mika to join you, but she's a little flipped off at the moment. She's probably just pretending, but you're going to pretend she isn't.

The bathroom door is marked "occupied" at the lock, and there's a sound of running water inside. Sounds like somebody else had the same shower idea that you did. What do you do now?
>Sounds like somebody else had the same shower idea that you did. What do you do now?
if experience is any judge, cry in my room
Get naked beforehand to save time and wait your turn for the shower. Also take note of one of the easier chores assigned to Mika and consider doing one for her so she might join you in the shower later.
apologize to rudeness to sister
knock on the door like bloody murder until whoever's in there opens up.
Sit on your sister and do a hot fart.
retrieve arms
Break in and steal their eggs. Egg hoarding bastards crashing the market.
Start underground egg black market with stolen eggs.
Then we can never have sister incest, unless she's into that sort of thing. Might want to put this on a to-do list after consummating with sister or stealing her katana.
Throw one dollar at your stepsister and say "Keep the change ya filthy animal"
we need a game plan here. we clean the temple for her and then wash and eat the egg to recover health points. we do an extra stinky fart from the egg on her, but she can't be mad because we cleaned the temple with her. we offer to share our now empty shower with her, even though we were first, because we did fart on her. we tell mika she has to wash us because we have no arms.
are we home alone?
wash the egg
I like this idea. Walking around naked feels great.

>get naked
>apologize to sis
>sniff Mika's hair/fart on her
>knock loudly on bathroom door
Fuck off questcuck. Quests go on /tg/
seems a little rude
Fuck off. Story driven, not shit quests are fine, be it text or art. The problem with /tg/ quests is that they have trash writing, no art to redeem said writing, and systems out the wazoo.
Go back into our room and get that fucking book, and put on my school attire.
Wrong reply
+2 embarrassment
>Also take note of one of the easier chores assigned to Mika and consider doing one for her
Let's see... Mika's three chores are...

- Scrub the Temple Exterior
- Ferry Souls
- Organize Humans

... okay. So the Temple... You're not sure what the EXTERIOR'S size is, but you know that the interior of the temple is a dome with an area of exactly 1 million cubic meters, assuming the monks built it correctly to the standards imposed on them by the old gods. Which they probably did because the gods were there to check their work. Okay. So... 1 million cubic meters... hemisphere... That would be about a radius of 78.159-ish... so the surface area of the inside of the temple would be around 38...38...3...point... 2... Pretty sure. Yeah, 38383.2 so... That would be about... Yeah so you can clean at a rate of maybe 6 meters every zun so... That would take about like... 6397 and change zun to do... which means it would take 64 days...

You could probably ferry the souls if somebody told you how. Maybe Cynthia knows?

You're not really sure what "Organize Humans" means but that shouldn't be hard. Can't be any worse than doing laundry.
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We begin knocking. The water is still going, for now, but we'll keep knocking until there's any change in the situation, or until our arm gets tired.
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You would but you looked over at here and saw that she was fine and then she went back to pretending to be hurt.
Why have we been slowly dying this whole time? Examine vitals.
i think flipping off our sister hurt us some
Y-you would do the second one? Really?
Ne, looks like we've been starving ourselves of adventure to death.
Doesn't matter. Moot said Quests go on /tg/. Go take it up with him.

You're blatantly breaking the rules and shitting up the board, just like all questfags.
Doesn't matter until a mod decides to enforce this since I doubt Hiro even has an opinion on anything. This board is basically blue /b/ with the mods doing whatever they feel like.
Hello /s4s/. You and memelord Swaglord are cancerous faggots and deserve to be hung by the neck until dead
You mean hanged, I'm already hung.
The door to the bathroom finally opens, and look who it is. Look who it ALWAYS is. It's Shiné. Wasting your time. Stealing your eggs. It never ends with her!

>"Oh, Heather! I'm sorry. You usually shower before bed so... I'll get out of your way. It's all yours."
[s4s] is a red /b/ senpai
Quick shower, then downstairs for food. We're starving it looks like.
Quick, pull off her towel. It looks like she's hiding eggs in there.
spill your spaghetti.

>tfw all dis hot girls
>still no gf
Apologize to Shine for being rude and compliment her on being pretty. Segue into a brief and incoherent fulmination regarding dirty eggs. Ask to borrow Shine's towel because you forgot yours.
invite everyone to shower
Wear thong around the head like a pirate eyepatch
Also check spellbook
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You apologize to Shiné and politely ask her for her towel, eggs, to shower with her and the like. Shiné freaks the hell out and screams at you like some kind of shrieking harpy and then leaves.

You take a shower.
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All showered, you get dressed with all of your equipped items.

You decide to try wearing the thong under your spats. What's the worst that could happen? It's not like anybody's going to see it on a blue board.
that's a big shower
Search the room for eggs.
aw, boring
Take another shower for XXXtra cleanliness
run to your sister and slap her in the face until she takes off your spats and thong with her teeth
Use high dexterity stat to dexterously go without spats or underpants under the skirt.
Open drawer in search for the eggs
You didn't floss your teeth. Now you need a new thong. You've soiled it.
I would argue that the thong has now been improved and is perfect for flossing.
hello questcucks

you can fuck off back to spooky now
get on internet.

see what's up on 4chan.
>questfags raiding other boards now
>gender and sex are two seperate things
Fuck off
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You could still use the sides. Also LATER, you have to find some eggs right now.

You search the bathroom high and low but you don't find ANY eggs! This is ridiculous! You do find a bunch of other useless garbage though.

- Shiné's makeup set.
- Shædo's makeup set, which is completely untouched.
- Cynthia's makeup set.
- Mika's, yours, Shædo's, Cynthia's, and Shiné's toothbrush.
- Toothpaste
- Towels
- Fronzit Charms
- Flata Powder
- Toilet Paper
- Plunger
- Toilet Brush
- Soap
- Shampoo
- Dental Floss
- Cotton Swabs
- Eight different hairbrushes, all with Shiné's hair stuck in them.
- Scissors
- Tweezers

Time to acquire egg, (wash egg?) and eat egg.
Find Shiné and interrogate her as to the whereabouts of the eggs. Also ask her if washing the egg is entirely necessary. I trust her opinion.
Take scissors and bring them to Shiné so you can scissor with her
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You collect the scissors. They're a beautiful pair of U shaped scissors for careful, controlled, intricate cuts.

You head out to the hallway. You were just about to knock, but you decide to try the door handle first.

It's locked. You listen carefully and it doesn't sound like Shiné is in there.
Hurry up and eat. You're Hangry. Then you can floss your teeth with the thong.
Go in the Cat door.
Call Shiné with what appears to be a phone in your inventary. Angrily demand to know the location of eggs, and wether they need to be washed.
Cast invisibility but it's the kind where your clothes don't go invisible so you have to be naked for it to work
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The Cat door is the door to Shædo's room. There's no lock or handle on the door and you just push it open. Her room's pretty big and white. Shædo's asleep under her blanket table thingie, whatever it's called.

You added flossing teeth to your quest log. You'll do it later. You also dismissed the shower quest, as you've completed it.
I actually felt very proud when I saw that.
pet shaedo. this is more important than food
I wasn't proud personally but more just didn't care, personally

Run around the room with your arms spread wide side making airplane noises
discover your sexuality
It's been two days. We're long since late for school. At this point, it's become a full-on truancy episode. It's time to eat breakfast. Sexy, naked breakfast.
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Why can't this board have spoilers? Mika is my waifu.
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You pet Shædo. You feel at peace. You've been pretty stressed out and angry but petting Shædo puts your mind at ease.

You take the time to update the characters file on your PDA.
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Oh, this is the sequel to FFIX. That explains a lot.
Is the age expressed in months past the 18th year of life?
Also storm out of the room while screaming "GIMME EGGS GIMME FIRE GIMME THAT WICH I DESIRE"
Time to go to kitchen.
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All right! Let's blow this pop-sickle stand.

You head out to the hall and head down toward the kitchen, yelling your battle cry!

Crap. It's Mika. Time for round two.

Compliment her beautiful hair and pretty face and apologize for being rude earlier. Explain that you're literally dying of hunger (we think, could be some woe onset by celibacy) and can she please help find some eggs, it's very important. Tear up a little to really sell it and hug her and kiss her a little too
You bet she's hiding some eggs in her bangs. You carefully inspect her bangs, using your dog-tier sense of smell to identify any trace of eggs
Ask to smell her feet.
Give her the double deuce.
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more like the double trey
Also have her check my digits
Mika is my wife btw.
tickle Mika until she makes you eggs

Yes this.

Kiss her long and hard. Make her yours.

A-and maybe hold her hand?!?
Grab all that floating punctuation. I think they're actually colored eggs.
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There's a ton of Mika art out there.
I can't tell what exactly is going on here but I like it
You interrogate Mika for information about the whereabouts of the eggs using NATO endorsed tactics. Everything seems to be going according to plan when suddenly Mika shoves you off of her, stands up, stares at you for a moment, then starts walking to the kitchen, calling out to Shiné.

>"Hey, Shiné! Remember that time Heather thought pokémon were real? I think she's doing it again but with eggs or something..."

This mission may have been compromised. What do you do?
pokemon are real they just live on islands far away.
How Can Eggs Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real
mika's a bitch.

follow Mika into the kitchen. repeat tactics on Shiné.
You can't take it anymore, you're starving. Beg your two housemates in a passive-aggressive way for those eggs.
Tell Mika that bullying is not okay! Tell Shiné that A) Pokemon are real and so is anime B) breakfast is THE most important meal of the day
also repeat kissing tactics but use a deep tongue-kiss to really get the point across
Wait wait wait.

Are these characters from a game or comic?

>tfw newfag
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I did some digging (read: googled remeranAuthor and neWrem) and it turns out OP did a series of threads on /vp/ six years ago, http://old.newrem.com/adventures/ and that they have a webcomic that hasn't updated in a year and a half that feels really experimental. http://www.newrem.com/flavor-text/comics/26/practice
Whoever they is they sure know how to make a sexy wifes
>2010 was 6 years ago
I'm getting old
It explains why I'm pretty sure I've seen a number of reaction images of Shiné over the years. Nice to see these characters again, and on /qa/ of all places.
This morning has gone on long enough! You're a growing girl and if you don't eat something soon, you're going to starve to death.

You finally reach the kitchen, there you find Shiné and Mika talking. Shiné is very concerned and worried whereas Mika seems quite amused. Shiné is dressed like she's going to be heading in to work soon.

>>430837 >>430839 >>430896 >>430320 >>430319
Dun dox me.
Spray their shirts with one of the many water hoses.
Mika doesn't look very amused in that picture. She looks like she's losing it. It's a good time to take advantage of that and behave normally, whatever that entails.
Politely ask the two of them the location of the eggs, while nonchalantely wielding that big fork behind you like a dagger towards them
Oven mitt on head like a rooster's comb. Crow like rooster while miming your desire for egg breakfast.
hold mika's hand.
hold mika's butt
You spray them both with water! Mika is unaffected by elemental attacks, but that doesn't surprise you. Shiné on the other hand is completely soaked!

You explain that you've been very reasonable and polite with them both so far, but this farce has gone on long enough. You want your eggs and you want them now.
Meant to quote >>430922 instead of >>430728 sorry.
Does Heather know that eggs come out of a bird's butt? Her intellect is pretty low, and maybe taking her to farm to look at bird butts would be a good educational experience.
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Shiné casts a stupid healing spell like a big stupid fat idiot.

Mika takes a bow and extends a hand with the flair of a jester.

>"I see you've seen through my plot. Yes, all along I have been misleading you. Your eggs are safe, but not for long. I've hidden three explosive charges around the temple, each with an egg inside of the time controller. If you are able to reach the bombs disable the egg timers, you'll have your eggs. If you can't, well, let's just say we're all going to be scrambled."

You realize Mika doesn't know anything about the eggs.
mika's so perfect
Open the refrigerator and look for the eggs in there.
Also compliment Mika for her progress in the "acting attitude" attribute.
I want to solve the mystery of why Heather is the only one with eyes like that.
I want to solve the mystery of if Mika's hair is made out of strawberry Twizzlers
Perhaps the answers are connected somehow. Rub Mika's hair on your eyes and find out.
I'm digging this. Thanks senpai
somehow not awful
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The tie-ins are runnign deep here
You compliment Mika on her acting and then check the fridge.

Let's see:

- Raw Nymbda with fur still on
- Raw Plucked Tabra
- Flata Root
- Kelschii Ferns
- Human Milk
- Bova Milk
- Toru


There they ar--Suddenly, Mika steps into your field of vision!

>"It's no longer the case that I was joking! You have 5 Zun to find them."

You slap Mika a couple times and tell her to knock it off. Shiné verbally scolds Mika as well. Mika apologizes and says she unplanted the bombs.

While slapping Mika around, you feel her hair a little. It's just regular hair, albeit strangely colored.
Did we feel anything else on Mika?
>vertical eyes
>horizontal vision

It seems some mysteries are simply beyond human comprehension.

Now, at long last, the eggs. ...I never expected we'd make it this far so I'm at a loss.
i think we're meant to wash it, but that also increases the risk of salmonella =/ i think we are doing very well. we were an aeroplane for a while
Take the pair of house slippers from inside the fridge, wear them, and explain to your friends how you have "'cold feet'" about washing the egg because it may spread diseases.
Ask Shiné for advice on washing eggs. Wash if yes; no, proceed to cooking them. Do you have experience making eggs?
Regardless, just have Shiné cook the eggs. She doesn't look busy.
You get a wonderful idea. Boil the eggs!
This way you are both washing AND cooking them at the same time.
I'm voting you for president.
Not anything out of the ordinary.
Those aren't house slippers. Those are Nymbdas. Nymbdas kinda look like bunnies. Freezing them breaks down the laughter toxins in their meat, making them edible. Nymbda meat is expensive and valuable since in low doses the laughter toxin is euphoric and freezing it for exactly 550 Zun is the perfect dose for most humans and humes.

Now we're GETTING somewhere! Shiné is practically useless for doing anything substantial, but preparing food falls under "support" duties, and Shiné excels at supporting! You give her clearcut instructions on how to prepare the eggs and sure enough you have your breakfast!
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You've acquired the [Egg Breakfast]!
go find Alex and ask him to teach us how to play guitar.
Stick the scissors in our slick pompadour.
Strip off thong and floss teeth and offer the thong to Mika for same.
shit, i mean, eat the egg breakfast, then go find alex and ask him to teach us how to play guitar.
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See, this is exactly why I didn't want people doxxing me. We haven't introduced Alex yet.
You eat the eggs!
Have we yet taken a shower?
We took one yesterday jesus

go to the white mage girl and ask her for a healing spell because whacking my tongue with that food so hard and fast must have given my a tongue ache.
Both spellings are accepted. It would be more polite to apologize instead of being a spelling nazi over a made up word.
doxxing is not accepted.

Thank you for the worthless Memecyclopedia link.
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I googled "Doxing" and got alternating results. I personally am going to keep saying doxing with one X, but I'm not going to try to correct anybody again.
Ask Shiney how to spell doxing
no, ask Mika. she seems more likely to be informed on it.
Put a bowl on your head (wide side down) and ride Shiny's shoulders like she's a horse.
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Shine has shown herself to be inept at spelling, grammar, and syntax.
Damn Shiny is looking sexy there
Petition to rename "Shiny" to "Sexy", please sign below
I don't like this guy's OCs. Where's that guy from /co/ with the Rayman bitch?
Somehow I don't think Shiné is pronounced Shiny???
But it's the e from pokemon
Also trips
...Let's make sure we're on the same page. Tell me how you think Pokemon is pronounced.
I've anyways said "pokemon," but I've also heard "pokemon."
You son of a bitch.
[YouTube] Potato Tomato (embed)
Dear Shiny:

please step on my balls

Deepest Regards
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Before you can give Shiné new orders, she tells you she needs to go to work and she disappears.
Later! We still have to... wait... I guess this is the only thing left on our questlog right now.
Add "plot revenge against Shiny" and "enact revenge against shiny" to quest long

nobody bails on us
Quest to find Shiny and kiss her.
We have to find out why she kept pointing to her wrist despite not actually wearing a watch. Is there a magic spell of some sort? This goes deeper than we thought.
best thread on /qa/ in the current moment
Quest to discover what ails Shiny's wrist and create a poultice that heals her but also makes her horny and naked.
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You put four new items on your Quest Log, remove your thong and place it back into your inventory, and leave the kitchen, back into the hallway, but now you're sort of at a loss for what to do next. Trying to find and acquire eggs was the force that drove your entire being, and now that you've accomplished it, you're not sure what's left to do in life. You'd been content with failure and setbacks your whole life, to never leave your comfort zone. Now that you've experienced victory you're baffled by just how hollow it feels. Is this what accomplishment really is? Is this what being a success is like?
In situations like these, I like to masturbate. Perhaps we should try masturbating?
An earlier post gave me an idea. We need to style our hair into a pomp. You don't truly know success until you've worn a pompadour.
Destroy the picture of that guy with the glasses. He looks like a fucking nerd.
I agree. Let's do this.

Not only does he look like a nerd, but when apathetic dread sets in, destroying things helps. Probably.

Add "Cure apathetic dread" to quest log.
Since we're leaving our comfort zone and feeling new feelings, let's try turning tricks purely for the life experience.
Admire pretty cash
You punch that painting using your excellent STR and DEX.

You guess you feel better maybe.
Show results of punching the painting. How damaged is it? Was it a favorite of any of your room mates? You feel slightly ashamed, but the unfettered joy of destruction and mayhem overpowers this. You have gained new vigor. Remove 'cure apathetic dread' from quest log. Move to complete objective 'floss teeth.' You've just eaten, you should go clean those pearly whites off.
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You pull up a screen on your PDA showing off your personal finances. You always put 25% of your funds at the end of every season into your savings account and keep the rest in a Petty Cash repository which you leave available to yourself if you ever want to spend it on something. It's all psychological effects because you can just remove it from savings at any time, but it's important to be responsible.
Cancel all active quests and go to school... today will be the day we lose our virginity, and it's time to get this show on the road.
I don't want to support this decision but it made me laugh so i have to.

Second for canceling active quests and going to school to lose virginity. Also, add "lose virginity" to quest log
Is Heather even a virgin? She's 32.
Given the age distribution, it looks like they age at at a much slower rate than we do. Assuming a similar culture related to sex, and Heather's reluctance to wear the thong, I think she's likely a virgin.

Use PDA to determine virginity status of each character met so far.
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Yes you are.
You check everybody's virginity using Encyclonet. There was an age check because people under the age of 60 aren't supposed to ask those sorts of questions, but you just route through Shædo's proxy she set for you.

When you checked Shædo's virginity, there was a little note next to it. These notes are usually included next to information that is considered sensitive information to those people to help prevent you from sticking your foot in your mouth, or to assist you in being a troll if you are so inclined. Luckily, most people are nice.
>Don't bring this up around her

Aw man, this is getting dark.
>getting dark
Well, that's why they call her "Shadow"! x^D
it is spooky that there's an organization which has collected such detailed information about everyone.

Research the people running Encyclonet to see how they acquire such information. We have to find out if they're violating muh privacy.
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Mock Shaedo for being a dirty hoe
wait a second. why isn't Mika wearing underwear? lewd.

also, while researching Encyclonet (>>434228), look up the difference between the "GIrl" "Woman" and "Lass" genders. Also, look up a list of possible genders.

in case we ever want to change genders to something more snowflakey.
Can perhaps we change gender to lesbian.
Also get a translation of whatever is on Mika's shirt.
Ask Mika for her shirt so we can more closely examine it.
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Encyclonet is a community curated, government moderated, worldwide repository of information. All registered Monster Slayers are catalogued and their equipment is continuously updated, along with their stats and if they're in combat, with whom. Encyclonet also has some information on civilians, but not nearly as much. Your own personal statistics are available to you but largely hidden from everybody else. A given civilian is mostly protected by there just being too many civilians to bother with. People like Mika, Shiné, and Shædo, are public figures, so more people care about what they're up to.

Encyclonet doesn't have centralized servers, but rather stores it in "the honeycomb", using a redundancy mesh, able to be fully restored from any ten thousand PDAs. PDAs are self organizing, intercommunicating, mana powered, Parutaiga Dord Azstmrit devices, with the popular "Personal Digital Assistant" backronym for people who have difficulty pronouncing the Kapra "zstmr" consonant cluster.

When you turn 60 you're going to need to decide whether or not you want to register or undergo MEDS. You're leaning toward MEDS because Monster Slayers don't exactly have the highest life expectancy, monsters are really gross sometimes, and you want to be an architect when you grow up.

"Gender" is more like a series of keywords that conflates the Western idea of gender binaries with sexual orientations. There are a TON of genders, as they build off of each other, but a quick explanation of the ones we've seen so far.

Girl - Female, feminine, and underage.
Woman - Female, Feminine, Heterosexual, Traditional
Lass - Female, Single/Unmarried, Asexual or bisexual and not interested, Neutral

Others include things like "Lipstick Lesbian" or "Butch" or "Tomboy" and all mean what you'd assume they mean. There are some weird ones like "Forji" which some Demons (and eccentric humans) identify as.
Mika's shirt just says "Ki Ku Ri" in Stoic Kapra.
damn, that was really elaborate.

find the hacker known as 4chan and see if our petty cash is enough to pay him to develop a remote PDA exploit that will allow arbitrary code execution, then use that to run code that will overwrite all storage data on the PDA with random data 30 times after sending a copy of itself to every other PDA listed in that PDA's network. Then have the code install a kernel-level rootkit on every 1 in 100 PDAs that will wait to see if the PDA receives an update containing old data, and will then prevent the PDA from forwarding that data, and infect the PDA that sent the data

We're bringing this mesh down, baby. After all, now everyone will know we're wearing a thong! What if Shiny found out? ;_; that would be too embarrassing. better to destroy the whole thing.

also, look up more demon genders.
I'm interested in the geography of our home which apparently has a massive temple nearby. Load up Mapquest and get our bearings.

We're not wearing the thong anymore, we removed it to use as dental floss but have yet to do so. I'm fully in favor of flossing our teeth with the thong in question.

Also, remove shorts and wear thong because you want to be a bad girl today.
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>We're not wearing the thong anymore, we removed it to use as dental floss but have yet to do so
true, but it was still in our inventory. shiny or anyone else could have found out at any time.

plus i want to wear it again later
can any of our housemates grow a magic futa benis
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Mika can.
I've never been more aroused.
Take off hairpin and enlarge it into an actual sword. That sounds crazy enough that it's probably possible.

No real reason for doing this other than that you look cooler carrying a sword around in one hand.
mika is my waifu desu
The waifu discussion for this series is getting so big that I'm thinking of creating a thread for it. We must have intense waifu wars. So that I can tell everyone that Shiné is best girl.
shiny is a woman, not a girl. learn your waifu, nerd.

mika is best girl

link thread here if you make it pls
Sorry for the confusion. I meant girl, not girl. Different words with different implications.

I'll keep you posted.
Hopflash genders to 'woman' before we lose our virginity so it's absolutely legal.
it's possible to ascend gendre to "streetwalking tramp"
You spend some time searching for words like “4chan”, "kernel-level" and "hack the planet" and find that these are all just pop culture references to various fictional stories like Andy Cush, Cory Doctorow, and Rafael Moreu.

It's not a tiny sword but rather, a tiny dagger. A tiny bloody dagger. It's your city charm, and it's meant to symbolize the sacrifice of Moncrefe when he--wait. School. >>434145 >>434148 >>429436 >>428037 >>426284
No, wait. >>426098
YEAH! You DO vote to skip school today! Hahaha! That settles that! The first 30 years of school are for kids who don't know what vocation they want to take, anyway. You're going to be an architect so you'll start really working hard at school when you get into REAL school that actually matters for life beyond it.

Wait hold on... Is today one of the days we play tennis? You check the school schedule.

... It is. You're late for school! You need to get to school and FAST!
Wear thong as eye patch
check EncycloNet Maps for the quickest path to school, then take it.
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Rather than do that, you pull up Cartographer® to display your Minimap℠ and Waypoint™ route path. Proprietary programs work way better than user curated things like Encyclonet. You only use Encyclonet when there's no better alternative.

Your map shows that, predictably, the fastest route to school involves exiting through the temple. Considering that's the only way outside, that makes sense. You should probably get your Tennis Racket from your room first though.

And your backpack you GUESS.
Add "Forego Use of Proprietary Software" to quest log. We're going to make Richard Stallman proud.

Go to room and grab the tennis racket and backpack, then pack a lunch for school and head to school.
Shove our face into the tennis racket so that the skin kinda squidges out and feels funny for a minute, then do the same for our chest.
I bet we're gonna get there and it's all gonna be a ruse and school doesn't actually exist. Story of my life pretty much.
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You collect your Tennis Racket and your backpack.
You consider pushing your face into the tennis racket, and then do it. Then you push it against your chest for some reason. Anyway! We're all ready to go!
Now jump out the window as a shortcut, because jumping out windows looks awesome.
I vote teleport to school. We're living in the rectory for some hypermagical space race, there's got to be someone among the sexy cats and big titty blondes that knows how to do teleportation magic.
We had a pink book here >>426284

Find that shit and go
>We're all ready to go!
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Where is it? WHERE'S OUR DIARY?!?
Check in the shower. Also, take another shower to relax.
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Finding your Diary and teleporting to school are likely accomplished in the same way. You add "Find Mika" to your quest log, along with finding your diary and teleporting to school. It's time to get some answers! You equip your backpack, put your tennis racket into your backpack, and head out to the hall.

First place to look for Mika is her bedroom. You knock on her bedroom door.
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Mika's door opens.

She seems to be in one of her plant moods.
list all objectives

add 'check these dubs'

dive into plants
Set her on fire.

Yes, I remember that information from earlier, but if she's committed to the role she'll play along.
Also, the most effective way of accomplishing this would be pointing your finger and shouting "FIREBALL!", regardless of whether or not you possess such a power.
Slice them shits up with the scissors
slice up our clothes with scissors
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Sounds like a good idea!
Sounds like an even BETTER idea. That's exactly the sort of thing Mika would just let happen. You point your fingers and shout FIREBALL!

Nothing happens. You're momentarily confused, then disappointed, and then just resign to walking into the plant room.
You don't have time for this.
Climb up in the tree like Tarzan and look for Mika from a high branch while making monkey noises.
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You look over your quest log and add "Check Dubz" but you're not sure what that means.
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Trick Mika into appearing by enticing her with something that would entice her.
Sex. Entice her with lesbian sex.
Your idea is gay.
nice fucking dubs!!!!
almost trips :(
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Good idea.
That would probably work, but it would work better than you'd like. Maybe we could try to entice her with something we're carrying? Racket, scissors, or thong?
Now is your moment. Lure Mika out with a thong flossing of your teeth!
I like this idea. We can complete that quest at last. This is called killing two birds with one stone.
>egg bomb
She really wasn't lying when she said she set those up. Too bad we already ate.
Also another vote for the thong flossing.

You floss your teeth with your thong. You're careful to only use the parts that go over your hips and not the string that goes under you.
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Surprising nobody, the egg bomb at your feet transforms into Mika.

>"Did you just floss your teeth with a thong?"

You mark Find Mika, Floss Teeth, and Check These Dubz off your list of quests. You'll need to research whether or not trips count as dubs or if they're an entirely separate entity.
>>439111 (You)
>>439111 (You)
Give her the thong, you don't need it anymore. Perhaps she's willing to make an exchange.
>>439111 (You)
>You'll need to research whether or not trips count as dubs or if they're an entirely separate entity.
You're one cheecky cunt m8
To answer Mika, say "No. No I didn't.". Make sure to repeat "I didn't" three times, each time more fading and unsecure than the last.
Kiss Mika on the lips.
Great job on flossing your teeth Heather! Now skip school all together and go outside and hunt monsters!
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Mika becomes interested in your insecurity.
All according to plan. Stick your entire head inside her mouth.
Stick your finger in her mouth.
Remain embarrassingly silent and fidget your hands.
Quietly stare at the ground as you slip the thong on your head to hide your shame
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You check dubz.

Mika leans in, delighted by your embarrassment.
dear god please tongue kiss her as hard as you possibly can
That's gay. Just lick her, like a normal person. I don't see how this could possibly go wrong.
lick her eyeball, like any self-respecting member of glorious land of sun
Make use of this opportunity to look into her soul through her eyes and see wether she has your diary.
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Maybe... you could... try that...
You give Mika a licking!

Looks like she did indeed have your diary! You take it.
>>441579 (You)
Sit on her butt.
>>441579 (You)
Sit on her and make sure she didn't take pages.
Also mention to her that she had the taste of a liar
You take a seat on her butt and look over your diary. It's unopened and nothing's damaged. Then you take some time to organize your quest log. You feel like you're almost done with what can be done here at home.

Only thing left to do is Go to school and also teleport to school, which are basically the same thing.
New plan. Ride Mika to school like a noble(?) steed.
Ride Mika like a streetwalking hussy.
Look around Mika's Room
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There's not much to look at in Mika's room while she's not in one of her moods. Mika defaults to turning herself into oxygen when she's not plants, or fire, or some sort of computerized meat, or something.

You reposition yourself so your legs hang on either side of her.
well that's quest. Good quest everyone. GG
bump limit reached~
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Oh no! We're running out of time! We need to get to school and FAST!

You use everything you've learned over the adventure to get Mika ready to teleport you to school!
>>442373 (You)
You ride Mika onward through one of her portals and out to your classroom! RIGHT ON TIME!

Your classmates marvel at your ingenuity and clever problem solving! Miss Worby will probably give you extra credit for this!
>>442373 (You)
>>442436 (You)

untie mika and flirt with someone.
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O-oh... Right you need to... Right that's on your quest log. Well you... you...

You are OUT OF TIME! You'll get your flirt on next time, assuming you remember! Ha ha! Well, it's time for class! What's on the syllabus today, Worby?

Until Next Time! Thank you for playing /qa/ - Quests and Adventures!
>>442468 (You)
Cheers mate. On what board will you start the next adventure? Also will you upload this adventure on some site?
I'll probably just upload it the site this anon found >>430837 (You) that I forgot I had because 6 years is a long time. Maybe I'll make a more readable version with screencaps of quoted posts in really tall images for tumblr or some crap.
I hope you do more of these. This was the funnest thread this board has had in a long time.

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