No.453557

girl

No.453568

A GARY

No.453589

The question mark, man.

No.453597

TUNNEL SNAKES RULE

No.453618

WHY DO YOU PEOPLE KEEP ASKING ME THIS?

I TOLD YOU I DON'T KNOW.

No.453658

>>453557

No.453680

>>453658
Datass

No.453785

>>453680
Well Hello, DATASS, I am PROFESSOR LOCUST. I am named after a kind of TREE. I call myself the POKéMON PROF.

You will be training these ADORABLE little things to be your best friend!

No.453865

apparently im a man...?

No.453883

And here is who you could have been if you had rolled up a boy! He is a hipster faggot. What was his name again?

No.453909

>>453883
Nigger Dicks McGee

No.453911

>>453883
MAX X

No.453927

>>453883

SLAGATHOR

No.453931

>>453883
That scarf is very Fourth Doctor.

Let's call him Tom.

No.454053

>>453883
DICKS

In all caps.

No.454066

You and TOM MAXNIGGERS MCSLAGGATHOR have been rivals since you were BABIES. Anyway, it's time for you to enter the world of POKéMON.

No.454240

I'm a boy, but I prefer to play as the girl, so I can fap to her in a regular basis looking at the minuscule sprite on my DS screen.

No.454263

Woah that was crazy! You finish playing with your VIRTUAL BOY and get ready for your big day! You are in the only other room in the house besides the living room, your bedroom! It is the only bedroom in all of the world of Pokemon except for that one kid in Celadon City, and that bitch from Saffron.

WHAT DO?

No.454296

>>454263
Play more Virtual Boy!

No.454321

Get raped by the Prof.

No.454335

>>454263

Virtual boy?

Whatthefuckamireading.jpg

Anyway. EXAMINE INVENTORY

No.454355

>>454263
Quickly retrieve arms from dresser.

No.454401

>>454296
You don't have any games but you wouldn't know the difference because you're a girl. You make buzzing sounds with your mouth for 10 minutes.

No.454436

>>454401
Then she goes to the Prof. after being bitched at by her Mom.

No.454458

>>454401

Stop buzzing.

Go downstairs. Clothes optional.

No.454478

>>454401
study hard and become a doctor or a lawyer

No.454483

and then OP is naked.

No.454486

>>454401
Heeeey I know that art!

No.454513

>>454486
It looks like every drawfag art on 4chan.

No.454539

>>454513
To the untrained eye. Also, recurring character.

No.454559

>>454401

fuck your mom

No.454560

>>454355
Your arms are not kept in your dresser. You store your arms in your computer.

You currently have your arms equipped so you don't need to go get them.

No.454577

>>454539
my eye is very trained from all dem vidya gaymz

No.454601

>>454560
inb4 ps3 fags

No.454613

>>454560

Look at the size of that TV goddamn.

And is that a Wii? The fuck you playing a virtual boy for?

Go downstairs so your mom can give you the generic "10 years old off on poke-adventure" speech.

No.454621

Successful drawfag is successful.

Continue, I am amuse

No.454625

>>454560

Go put your arms back in the comupter

No.454654

>>454539
((please don't spoil this for everybody. You know everybody and their mother hates me.))

>>454478
NO WAY MAN. YOU'RE GOING 2 B A MASTAH.

No.454710

>>454654
Well, I don't, but ok.

No.454763

>>454613
What? That's not a Wii, it's an XBox360, but the only reason to play it is to show everybody online you're playing it. When you want to game for actual enjoyment, you play the old handhelds, or in the case of today, Face-Helds.

No.454767

mark get out

No.454813

>>454654
Find Locusts lab goddomot. Everyone else is just trying to slow you down... I want to see what starters you invented.

No.454818

Enough of this expositiony crap. Time to head downstairs and meet some characters!

No.454828

>>454763
Go downstairs and demand your mom makes you a sammich.

No.454865

>>454560
Equip sword and get the fuck out of my house in order to kill pokeymans and gain experience

No.454867

>TO the professarrrrr

No.454914

OK SO ANYWAY You're heading downstairs now. Your mom is at the table but she just wants your money so no need to talk to her.

No.454967

>>454914
Break and enter your rivals house.

No.454990

>>454914
Go outside and look for the building that doesn't look like every other house. There should only be about 4 buildings anyways.

No.455032

>>454914
Sell yourself on the street for Potion money.

No.455045

>>454990
More like 3.

No.455106

>>455057
Perfect! It's right next door. Go there.

No.455121

>>455057
Enter the goddam lab.

No.455140

>>455057
Fuck the lab! Go talk to the random citizens who don't have houses!

No.455141

>>455057
Suddenly I found a sword in the floor :3

No.455167

>This is my grandson.
>Ehm... What is his name again?

lawl wut?

No.455171

So in which of the Pokemon games was the professor actually home at the start of the game and ready to give you your first pokemon without a random encounter that demonstrated that you can catch pokemon without pokemon, but only if you're a professor?

No.455220

>>455171
THIS ONE (hopefully). If not run into the closest patch of tall grass and he should show up.

No.455334

Go raep your rival

No.455346

Uhg bump because nothing

No.455376

>>455140
You talk to a homeless person.

>"You ever notice that SilphCo Owns just about every aspect of our lives? They make the pokeballs, they enforce a P with two lines through it form of currency, and they have propogandized us into thinking that this glorified version of cockfighting is OK because the monsters dutifully obey us after we beat them into submission and encase them in a mind control ball."

>"The balls clearly do this, too. What the hell is with Pokemon Trading? I find this fundamentally sick. If you ask me, this is all a crazy conspiracy so that they can have unlimited funding for depraved experiments like Porygon and Mewtwo."

No.455454

go try to walk into the tall grass until someone gives you all the legendaries

No.455459

Raep the homeless man and steal his pokemanz

No.455507

SUDDENLY...

No.455510

>>455454
Then raep the legendaries

No.455531

>>455507
Raep hm

No.455566

This story needz moar raep

No.455597

>>455507
Kick him off the bike

No.455617

>>455507
Get the fuck out of the way before that asshole runs you down.

No.455649

>>455531
Try as you like, you are unable to rape whoever that dashing man on the bike was.

No.455673

Girl thankfully, the boys get such shit designs.

No.455733

Try to make it to the nearest hospital.

No.455745

>>455649
The Professor shows up! He asks you to come inside his lab because you're late for picking up your pokemon!

No.455770

>>455745

Flip him the bird

No.455779

>>455745
FIRE TYPE PICK THE FIRE TYPE
THAT WAY YOU DONT HAVE TO TRAIN ONE LATE IN THE GAME

No.455789

>>455745
>>455770
Then go in and ask what he has.

No.455820

>>455745
What are our options?

No.455838

>>455789
>>455820
>>455779
Fuck choosing
Just take all of them

No.455863

>>455838
Pick a pokemon.
Attack Professor with Pokemon
Take other 2
????
PROFIT!

No.455925

>>455863
>>455863
i like that.

No.455929

>>455820
GLAD YOU ASKED.

You could go with the ICE-FLYING type, Snowbirga, the Electric-FIRE type, Duramana, or the Grass-Poison type, Kelschi!

No.455946

>>455929
Electric-fire.

No.455960

>>455929
ALL OF THEM

No.455962

>>455929
electric fire

No.455971

normal game rules don't apply to you. take all of the starters and escape into the woods, it is impossible for anyone to follow you.

No.455977

>>455929
Always fire. Are the first evolutions dual type as well?

No.456002

ice flying you say...

No.456009

Grass/Poison is BORING, and Ice/Flying isn't that rare.

Electric/Fire? There's something totally new! Get that!

No.456015

>>455929
The fuck?
What do they look like?

No.456038

>>455929
Take the fire one then take them all.

No.456046

>>455946
DURUMANA the DURUMA pokemon. These pokemon can only be toppled by hitting them with heavy hammers. Durumana have a STOIC and ANGRY nature, and their pokemon power RAISES GRASS DEFENSE in a pinch.

No.456052

>>455929
Take all of them and ABSCOND

No.456074

>>456046
a fire electric needs grass defense above all else

No.456089

>>456046
DIGLETT?

No.456104

>>456015

Yeah, but ground still fucks your shit up. Which makes me think; Fire/Grass would be fucking amazing. But what the fuck Pokemon would that be? Burning oak log?

No.456121

>>455929
>>456046


yu speeeled der names rong

No.456134

>>456046
It's a... Battery?

No.456153

>>456002
SNOWBIRGA, the FROZEN DODO pokemon. Snowbirgas can reach temperatures of NEGATIVE 8000000000000 F. They have a BEAUTIFUL and PRISSY nature and their pokemon power ALLOWS THEM TO WOW THE CROWD.

No.456197

I love how OP is being completely sarcastic with the starters.

Did you make these up on the spot or put some thought into them? Either way, +1 internets.

No.456199

>>456153
I AM WOW'D

No.456216

I think OP means this. http://g4tv.com/videos/21410/Unbeatable-Banzuke---Super-Daruma/

No.456271

This is relavent

No.456276

DURUMANA

No.456300

>>455171
Y'know that this is basically what will happen at the start of BW, right?

No.456348

CONT. OP

No.456371

KELSCHII, the POISONOUS LEAF Pokemon. Kelschiis are dangerous when exposed to an open flame or water vapor as they emit harmful neurotoxins that attack the brain when threatened. Kelschii has a OUT OF IT and CALM nature, and his POKEMON POWER can cause other pokemon to get REALLY USED TO FIGHTING HIM AND ANGRY WHEN THEY DON'T GET TO.

No.456421

Fire electric because lawl stupid pokeman. I wouldn't be surprised if they made it a real pokeman. Stupid GameFreak

No.456431

>>456276
Lol, i change my choice to KELSCHII.

No.456465

>>456371

GO GO GO

No.456528

i choose gun

No.456534

>>456371
A Pot Pokemon? Really, OP?
Choose Snowbirga.
Make it freeze Professor to death with it's impossible cold body
take other two
Loot the place while we're at it.

No.456535

TAKE ALL OF THEM
FLEE, PREFERABLY WHILE MAKING CURLY-ESQUE "WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP" NOISES

No.456537

duramana is obviously superior. he looks like he's ready to fuck some shit up. we must choose him

No.456599

WOAH WOAH WOAH WAIT before you get to pick your pokemon, HERE COMES YOUR COMIC FOIL.

>Hey whuttup homechief. The name's TOM MAXNIGGERS MCSLAGGATHOR, got it MEMORIZED?

what an asshole!

No.456640

>>456599

Spit on the ball he chooses

No.456646

>>456599
Oh my GOD! SHOOT HIM! SHOOT HIM WITH FIRE LIGHTNING ATTACK!

No.456648

i still choose gun

No.456651

WHO CARES
WHEN WE HAVE ALL THE STARTERS THEN WE CAN BE THE ASSHOLE

No.456673

UH OH.

No.456674

>>456640
this

No.456675

>>456599
Potential witness! Gonna hafta murder him too if we're gonna get away with all 3.
Kick him in the balls for running us over with his bike

No.456697

>>456673
Wait, what?

No.456718

His head hit the table and knocked all the pokemon into the air!

No.456727

>>456718
Oh shit! Catch'em all! Catch'em all with your teeth! D:

No.456734

>>456718
Oh snap!

No.456758

can we go back home and sleep at this point?

No.456771

>>456758
NO WE MUST CATCH A POKEMON!
Catches a poke ball and opens it to see pokemon inside.

No.456778

>>456718
Shit, they're gonna hit the ceiling fan and scatter wherever!
Execute super-jump maneuver, using Tom's body as a springboard! GOTTA CATCH EM ALL!

No.456806

>>456727
YOU CATCH ONE OF THEM IN YOUR TEETH AND THE OTHER TWO IN YOUR HAND. You are unconscious but it still counts. You got all three pokemon!

No.456809

ok catch one and then go back to sleep

No.456815

Use the confusion to pickpocket Tom

No.456835

>>456806
-________________________________________-

now lets go rape a gym leader

No.456890

i came back after an hour, and you still don't have a starter

No.456898

>>456806
ten bucks says Tom takes at most two of them before we wake up

No.456919

so uh... can we set out? maybe go say goodbye to dear old mom and receive a jetpack? fuck running shoes

No.456949

>>456919
Yes, I think it's about time to leave.

>WAIT I HAVE SOMETHING TO GIVE YOU FIRST.

Oh what now?

No.456957

>>456806
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees!
Passed out, you are fondled. Don't know by who though.

No.457031

>>456949
jetpack!

No.457033

>>456949
RUN LIKE HELL
GET BITCHES

No.457038

>>456949
Dat filename

No.457126

The new POKéGEAR 4G. It is a phone, a clock, and so much more. You'd be hardpressed to tell what it DOESN'T do. There's also an APP that comes PREINSTALLED on the POKEGEAR 4G called POKEDEX.

>There are rumored to be as many as 800 species of POKEMON and I need you to catch and name every single one because the old pokedex technology is incompatible with the new online app based format!

No.457128

so is it some kind of epic pokemon that just woke up or what? be a jetpack

No.457146

>>456949
He gives you a pokedex and pat on the back.

No.457162

>>457126
:I

ITS GOING TO LOSE SIGNAL EVERYWHERE

No.457184

Go to mom and get a jetpack.

No.457190

>>457126
Fiddle with the controls and find gun app. Then scare the fuck outta Tom

No.457194

>>457126
FIND THE NEAREST PAWN SHOP AND SELL THAT SHIT
FUCK HIS GIANT FETCH QUEST

No.457202

>>457126
How much does that thing cost?

No.457210

>>457162
Can we get a bumper from Locust? I'm pretty sure they have to give those out now.

No.457220

JETPACK

No.457258

USE DURAMANA AS A JETPACK

No.457291

OK SO YOU'RE GOING HOME TO GO GET YOUR MOM TO GET YOU A JETPA--

>WAIT!

Oh your damn rival wants something.

>We have to fight!

No.457311

>>457291
break teeth by throwing pokeballs at his face

then JETPACK

No.457314

Kick face.
Leave.

No.457335

>>457291
OH C'MON!
He has no pokemon. Kick him in the nads, take his hat, and keep movin'.

No.457336

>>457291
I'M SORRY WHAT I DIDN'T CATCH THAT I WAS BUSY SETTING MY RING TONE OKAY SEE YOU CHUMPS LATER

No.457365

>>457335
Take his bike too, while we're at it.

No.457366

Throw Duramana at him.

No.457396

I'M SORRY GUYS BUT YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT HOW THIS GAME WORKS.

No.457398

Raep ime? (Not ur rival, the pokemanz)

No.457419

use self destruct. there can be no winners here

No.457450

Send out the grass pokemon, proceed to smoke weed.

No.457457

WARNING:

YOU ARE NOW PLAYING THIS GAME WITH NUZLOCKE RULES

WARNING

No.457471

>>457447
use gangrape

No.457490

toasting in epic bread

No.457495

Check that lean. Someone shoop a stone cold stunner on there.
Also, go Snowbirga I guess

No.457512

>>457396
Send out two pokemon at once!
DURAMANA and KELSCHII
Use light up KELSCHII and que Bob Marley.

No.457534

>>457447
snowbirga.
Freeze the floor

steal his scarf.

Or, whatever she ends up doing, STEAL THE MOTHER FUCKING SCARF.

No.457549

>>457534
HAT TOO!!!

No.457558

COME ON GUYS. THAT'S NOT HOW YOU PLAY POKEMON.

SELECT YOUR COMMAND.

No.457574

>>457558
FIGTH

cone of cold! wait...

No.457607

>>457558
Everyone use their generic normal type damage move they start with.
Tackle/Scratch/Pound/whatever

No.457614

FUCKING RUNNNNNNNN

No.457616

Raep Gary oak, then get stoned

This plan cannot fail

No.457617

>>457558
Use TACKLE or whatever shitty normal type move everyone starts out with

No.457647

>>457574

No.457654

I use item -> dildo and raep Gary oak with it

No.457656

LEER

No.457660

>>457647
Use GROWL. Hope he is turned on. Threesome with phallic pokemon.

No.457675

is it too late to run?

No.457679

That motherfucker's lean is too much for your weak starters to handle, get the fuck out of there

No.457685

>>457647
Eer

No.457688

Is he not sending out pokemon?

No.457700

>>457647
I... Fucking... Hate you

No.457705

>>457654
IT'S NOT GARY DAMNIT! THAT'S TOM MAXNIGGERS MCSLAGGATHOR!
Also LEER!

No.457710

>>457656

No.457718

suck his dick

No.457721

>>457710
OKAY WHAT MOVES DOES THAT FAGGOT BIRD HAVE THEN JEEZ

No.457739

>>457710
its super effective! tom now has status effect limpdick

No.457745

>>457710
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
Look at the other pokemon's moves!

No.457750

>>457705
His name is Gary, and I just raeped him with my 12 Inch didldo

No.457766

>>457754
LAWSUIT TIME

No.457768

>My face when our Pokemon have no damaging attacks, Tom attacks, and faints all three of ours, ending the adventure.

No.457770

>>457754
FUCK

No.457778

>>457754
FFFFFFFuck! What's the damage status!?

No.457788

Wild TOM has fainted!

No.457799

Ok so that hurt but you've suffered that every day forever. You have been rivals since you were BABIES.

SNOWBIRGA'S TURN.